To see you

I long to see you:
unguarded, unarmed, at ease, safe, confident in yourself.

When I catch glimpses of that human being
it is a miraculous delight.
I see spirit, creativity, wit, joy, humor, passion, integrity, grace…
all those things that led me to fall in love with humanity.

I tell you this
not because I am naive.
Not because—for my own selfish benefit—
I demand that you strip away your armor and face a harsh world
without the protection you need to preserve your place here.

I have seen the currents of ugliness you wade through with courage,
the unimagined cruelty you face more frequently than I care to acknowledge.
I know there are truths I resist knowing.

I am embarrassed for the parts I’ve played (or neglected to play),
the ones that led to your need for armor.

But still…
in spite of of my all-to-frequent failures to see you,
to value you, to seek out and affirm your soulful expression,
in spite of my ignorance, my self-serving blind spots,
my preoccupation with all my own petty concerns,
I want you to know that this, too, is true:
Deep down, all I really want in this life is to be clear-eyed enough to see you be you,
to marvel at what this universe created in you.

I know it’s not your responsibility to help me see.

I just want you to know I’m trying.